SOUTH ACCIDENT

The Newsday's Stacy Moore has a story in today's paper on the weekend accident which claimed three lives.
ttp://newsday.co.tt/news/0,78737.html
But Stacy, your story is very confusing. You take it for granted that everyone has seen the story on tv or read the details in the newspaper. But what about the person who is seeing or hearing of this incident for the first time?

Here's what you wrote in paragraph 2:
"The early morning accident on Saturday took the lives of La Romaine cousins Isaiah Thomas, 17 and Donald Lee Foster, 27 and Kim Allsop, 23, when two vehicles crashed head-on at the South Trunk La Romaine Road. All occupants of the white Nissan B13 succumbed to their injuries."

So the people who died weren't in the white B13? The way you wrote it suggests that the three died in one vehicle, and there were other people in the B13 who died.
You also wrote "Allsop, 23, who was originally from Andrews Lane in Chaguanas."
Were you going to add to this sentence? If you use the word "who", then it suggests you are going to add some further information. And where are the other two victims from? Why did you single out the young lady?

Then you wrote "Austin recalled Emmerson screaming, “Look! What his car doing on our lane!”"
Who is Emmerson? Is that his entire name?
And again you wrote "When I fell I was lying in the middle between Emmerson and Gaba,” Austin said."
Who is Gaba? Is that his entire name? You had more than 36 hours to get that information correct before going to print with this story.